never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
Randomize
