Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
