We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Randomize
