I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
Randomize
