I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
Randomize
