Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
Randomize
