she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
