Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
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