From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
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