Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
Randomize
