I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Randomize
