I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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