...so i touched it.
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
