Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
Even the bartender felt bad for me
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
