If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Randomize
