And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize
