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I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
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