why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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