Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
Randomize
