Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
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