I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
operation have a gay friend backfired
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize
