if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
