seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
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