so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
Randomize
