i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
