that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Randomize
