They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
Randomize
