In the future we'll all be gay
dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
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