So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
Randomize
