Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
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