The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
please come you make the beer taste better
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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