so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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