You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
They have beer where we have blood.
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize
