apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
