I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Randomize
