escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
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