I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
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