i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
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