Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Randomize
