My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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