I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
Randomize
