just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Randomize
