i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
Randomize
