I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
