This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
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