whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Randomize
