so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
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