well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
Randomize
