she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
how do flat chested girls get laid?
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Randomize
