Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
