Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Randomize
