he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
my liver is dry heaving
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
God I need to hump something, right now.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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