I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
Randomize
