If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
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